PARENTING is not easy. Even with the influx of information, many parents still do not fully understand the developmental needs of toddlers.
Here, experts debunk practices by some parents and lay down the essentials in helping toddlers grow up healthy, happy and holistic.
MISTAKE 1
A child is smart if he can recite the alphabet or the numbers 1 to 10 very early in life.
EXPERT ADVICE
When parents talk about a child's speech development, many describe their child's ability to recite numbers or the alphabet.
I use the word "recite" rather than "count" as young children do not understand the concept of numbers.
In most cases, it is the child merely parroting what had been taught numerous times.
A more important and relevant development is speech and communication, which is more than just the ability to recite numbers and the alphabet, but the ability to convey intentions, needs and feelings.
*Dr Yong Junina Fadzil, consultant paediatrician and paediatric cardiologist.
MISTAKE 2
Sending a child as early as two to playschool is a good academic headstart.
EXPERT ADVICE
There are several reasons why a child is sent to playschool at a young age.
First, there is no one to care for the child at home as both parents are working.
Second, for social interaction, and third, to fulfil the parents' wish for the child to be educated at a young age.
Children should only be sent to playschool at a young age for the first two reasons — to be in a safe and nurturing environment while the parents are at work, and to interact with other children.
Two years is too young for a child to be embarking on an academic journey.
At this age (and at any age, really), it should be all about play and social interactions. Through play, children learn societal rules like sharing, taking turns as well as develop gross and fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, communication and social skills.
*Dr Yong Junina Fadzil.
MISTAKE 3
A digital device helps children learn better.
EXPERT ADVICE
Learning is a multifaceted process that may be facilitated by digital devices.
However, relying solely on digital devices to enhance learning leads to uneven development of executive functioning and adaptive behaviour skills.
Executive functioning includes abilities in critical thinking, organisation, planning and problem solving.
Adaptive behaviour skills involve communication, socialisation, emotional management and activities of daily living. These skills require experiential and socially-interactive learning for the children to become self-efficacious individuals who will be relevant members of the community.
Without these skills, the good grades that you get in school are pretty much useless.
*Prof Dr Alvin Ng Lai Oon, Sunway University's Department of Psychology.
MISTAKE 4
It is good to put my child first all the time.
EXPERT ADVICE
Definitely not. Put your family first. Children need to know they are important but they must also know that there are other people who are important in this world too.
Putting them first all the time often results in overindulged and
overprotected children and this may stunt their emotional development.
Children need to see that their parents have a strong relationship together and that their parents also have other priorities.
This is where the foundations of their future relationships start.
*Dr Rajini Sarvananthan, consultantgeneral and developmental paediatrician.
MISTAKE 5
Giving in to tantrums calms my child faster.
EXPERT ADVICE
Giving in to tantrums is the biggest mistake a parent can make because it reinforces the behaviour. Rewarding a child for stopping a tantrum will result in the same. Remain calm and ponder what triggered the tantrum. Where possible, try to intervene before the tantrum reaches a peak. Distraction is often a good way to do it.
Once the child is well into a tantrum, ignore and wait until he has calmed down.
Acknowledge his feelings (e.g "I know you are angry") and teach him a strategy which will help him next time. Don't forget to give him a hug and tell him you love him but that the behaviour is not acceptable.
*Dr Rajini Sarvananthan.
MISTAKE 6
Getting a child to finish what's on his plate will ensure he gets enough nutrition.
EXPERT ADVICE
Adequate nutrition is crucial for development and well-being, but a child finishing his plate of food doesn't mean that he is getting enough of the required nutrition.
It very much depends on the type and proportion of food that parents provide to the child. An easy guide to help parents identify whether their child is having a balanced meal is by using the Malaysian Healthy Plate concept of quarter-quarter-half — a quarter of carbohydrate such as whole grains, another quarter with protein food such as fish, meat, poultry or legumes and a half plate of vegetables and fruits.
To complete the meal, you can give your child a glass of water or milk.
*Wendy Goh, Fonterra Brands Malaysia scientific and nutrition manager.