EVERY Monday, come rain or shine, a group of lively folk gathers at the nearby park. Some arrive with walking sticks, while others come on bikes. At first, it appears to be just a bunch of older people hanging out, but it quickly becomes evident that there's more than meets the eye.
After their workout, they sit down to debate current issues with enthusiasm and insight that come from years of experience. Their insights are sharp and their opinions, strong. This "park meet-up" isn't just a workout — it's a buzzing hub of both physical activity and intellectual exchange.
Despite such active engagement, many tend to dismiss or overlook the realities of old age, often defining it (old age) virtually out of existence. Ageing is a topic many prefer not to think about, or much less talk about with others.
This happens because society prioritises youth, making old age seem irrelevant or inconsequential. Old age is treated as a distant concept, which is ironic given that ageing is a universal experience we all inevitably face.
A DIFFERENT PHASE
Of course, when we're young, imagining ourselves as elderly seems nearly impossible. Attempting to envision life from the perspective of someone in their late 80s seems almost unfathomable, yet many of us are now living longer.
If you ask the average young person what old age brings, chances are their replies will include ailing body, a slower mind, memory loss and generally, a less enjoyable life. These preconceived notions paint old age as a period filled with aches, pains, depression, poor sleep, illness and hospitalisations.
Mentally, the ageing brain longs for relief. We can't remember like we used to, and we don't respond like we ought to, causing us to reflect more on yesterday and tomorrow rather than today.
All this — and much more — is worsened by the memory of those days when we once were so efficient, capable, needed and fulfilled. As we look into the mirror, we're forced to admit that the marks of age are etched onto our faces; it's difficult to believe that our later years could hold much value.
FEAR OF AGEING
Undoubtedly, not many people are genuinely curious about the lives of the elderly. For those who are, their interest often stems from an intense fear of growing old themselves. This fear often extends to an aversion towards the elderly.
This phenomenon, known as gerontophobia, is a peculiar and harmful prejudice because, unlike biases directed at specific groups, gerontophobia targets a stage of life that everyone will inevitably face.
Put simply, the elderly are us, just a few decades later. So, what we're actually expressing isn't just a fear and aversion towards older individuals, but also a discomfort with the prospect of becoming our future selves.
Viewing ageing populations negatively can distort our perceptions of what old age truly means. Because, really, what else are old people, other than old?
In our minds, this question highlights the tendency to readily project our own views onto old age, rather than understand it on its own terms.
The truth is, the reality of old age often clashes with our expectations of old age and its stereotypical portrayals. Old age is often stereotyped in narrow and outdated ways; grandparents with canes and hearing aids, tending to gardens.
These stereotypes range from the cheerful old lady to the grumpy old man, both seen as slow, weak and frail. Fiction and media perpetuate these images, shaping standard perceptions of older individuals. These portrayals suggest that older people are no longer vibrant or capable, but are like antique cars — once useful but now only suited for slow drives.
THE REALITY
Then, there's also positive stereotyping. Older people are often seen as happier than when they were younger, possibly due to lower expectations or a different perspective on life.
This positive view can be misleading and we're not alone in falling into this trap of stereotyping. Idealising the elderly can lead to misconceptions, as it ignores the unique traits of each person.
Recognising that older people are regular people helps challenge stereotypes and promotes a more respectful understanding of ageing. Lynne Segal, in her book Out of Time: The Pleasures and Perils of Ageing, argues that stereotypes about old age — whether positive or negative, can cause real harm.
She believes that ageism, rather than ageing itself, is the real problem we face. This is because society imposes limiting narratives on ageing, either viewing it as progress or decline.
But according to Segal, these simplistic views fail to capture the complexities of old age, forcing us to either mourn or celebrate it rather than seeing it as a meaningful stage of life.
The truth is, the realities of ageing are inevitable and affect everyone. As we approach our later years, it's natural to feel a mix of anxiety and uncertainty. Observing older individuals facing health crises and family upheaval can heighten these feelings.
The thought of experiencing similar challenges with our own families can be daunting. At the same time, it can be hard to accept that much of the physical decline and social loss we witness might be inevitable.
However, we must also recognise that much of our fears about ageing are often exaggerated, and understanding the realities of getting older can lead to a more compassionate and inclusive society. As a society, we should commit to making ageism as unacceptable as any other form of prejudice.
RE-EVALUATE, APPRECIATE
Our attitudes and fears about old age need a complete transformation. A good starting point is to re-evaluate and appreciate the value of older members of our society, because our current view is simply upside-down.
Society commonly views octogenarians and nonagenarians as weak and irrelevant, when really, they are anything but. In many ways, they're life's true winners. Reaching the age of 80, and thus being classified as "very old", represents a remarkable achievement.
Reaching an advanced age isn't just about hitting milestones; it's a testament to surviving and thriving through the ups and downs of life. It signifies a unique combination of genetics, lifestyle choices, resilience and a touch of blessing that has allowed these individuals to outlive many others. In the grand scheme of life, reaching this milestone is a true accomplishment worthy of much respect and admiration.
Younger folks would do well to take a page from their playbook. In fact, researchers are keen to tap into the wisdom of very old individuals and communities with high numbers of seniors, hoping to unlock the secrets of their longevity for the rest of us.
Turning 80 and beyond requires a special kind of grit. For those who've been around the block, thoughts of life's end are a daily reality, made even more challenging by the trials of ageing, illness and losing friends.
Yet, many older people exhibit an inspiring combination of calm and cheerfulness, managing emotions, and facing life's curveballs with remarkable grace.
And so, for us all, learn to embrace getting older and find the silver linings as we add more candles to our birthday cakes. Certainly, there may be a few more wrinkles and a bit less spring in our step as we age, but there's also a wealth of wisdom and countless stories along the way.
It's time to stop fearing the inevitable and start appreciating the quirks and perks of growing older. After all, age is just a number, and life is what we make of it, no matter how many trips around the sun we've experienced!