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Where have our manners gone?

A JALIL Hamid’s article, “Common courtesies are becoming rare” (NST, Aug 7), is an apt reflection of falling courtesy standards in society.

As the country’s economy advances and society becomes more affluent, courtesy, noble values and ethics take a back seat.

Judging from the behaviour of a large number of Malaysians, I have reservations about the campaign to promote courtesy among the people and make it a way of life.

Despite our nation’s progress, many Malaysians face decaying morals and poor courtesy.

The negative behaviour syndrome — reflected in road bullies, lawbreakers, litterbugs and poor counter service — shows we are far from being courteous.

Courtesy is polite behaviour where we show appreciation to other people. It is a sign of respect for others. Neglecting common courtesy can make a person arrogant.

Besides saying “please”, “thank you”, “I’m sorry”, “excuse me” and “you’re welcome”, common courtesy includes offering your seat in a train or bus to a pregnant woman or the elderly.

These days, courtesy, respect, integrity, morals and ethics are not valued attributes any more. Our urban society has turned into selfish, self-centred and self-absorbed people.

This could be attributed to the desire for materialistic things, which has affected people’s kindness and contributed to declining manners and courtesy in society.

Younger people tend to have lesser common courtesy.

They are either not taught at home by their parents or are influenced by their peers, gadgets and social media.

Mobile phones and other devices have made people better connected, but they have undermined good manners and courtesy among people.

It is common to see people texting while having meals with family or friends, making phone calls during movies, answering phone calls while people are making speeches, or hearing phones ring during religious ceremonies.

In the workplace, courtesy and respect towards others should be standard behaviour, regardless of role, rank or reputation. However, these values are shrinking.

This is partly due to reliance on digital communication and less face-to-face interaction between managers and employees.

This is worsened by stress faced by employees.

The time has also come for Malaysians to ask whether they have done enough to ensure the success of the five-year campaign to promote courtesy and noble values.

Based on my observations, the virtues of courtesy, politeness, patience, humility, tolerance and respect have yet to become our way of life.

A lot more remains to be done to inculcate these virtues in Malaysians, particularly the young generation.

Many students don’t even say “thank you” when something is handed to them.

I have on several occasions given out certificates or awards to students to recognise their academic achievements but they walked away without even saying “thank you”.

It is common to observe inconsiderate driving and the clogging-up of yellow boxes in road junctions, littering in public places, vandalising of public property, jumping queues and not saying “sorry” when mistakes are made.

Other issues are talking rudely to customers, smoking in non-smoking areas, spitting in public and not giving up seats to the elderly, disabled and pregnant women.

Having a campaign to promote courtesy and noble values is important but what is even more essential is to put into practice the courtesy and noble values we are promoting.

Leadership by example is essential for the success of the campaign. In this regard, ministries, government departments and agencies should instil noble values in their staff.

The public and private sectors should promote courtesy among counter staff dealing with the public.

Basic civilities and courtesies, such as responding to calls and replying to letters and emails from the public must be adhered to by those in authority.

The success of any courtesy campaign must start in schools, where courtesies and noble values must be taught.

Moral Education in schools should be reinforced to emphasise the importance of learning and practising the 36 noble values.

Memorising the 36 noble values for the sake of passing the subject is not desirable. What we want to achieve is to put the values into practice.

Vision 2020 will be meaningful only if we can inculcate courtesy and noble values in Malaysians.

TAN SRI LEE LAM THYE,
1Malaysia Foundation trustee

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