KUALA LUMPUR: Losing a loved one is hard, but not being able to say goodbye can make the experience even more unbearable.
But this is the pain that loved ones of Covid-19 victims have to endure.
J. Sivakumar, who had to send off his father, M. Jayaseelan, 67, about a month ago, said his family had little communication with his father since the day he was confirmed Covid-19-positive at the Ampang Hospital.
The eldest of three siblings said the family took him to the hospital when he complained of breathing difficulties on May 2.
"After a few tests, the doctor confirmed that my father was Covid-19-positive and they immediately warded him and told the rest of us to undergo screening and to self-quarantine while waiting for the results.
"All of us tested negative except my mother, who did not have any obvious symptoms. After a few days, we got a call telling us his condition had worsened and that he had been transferred to the intensive care unit, but no one was allowed to visit him.
"We were discouraged from leaving our home, but the hospital doctors and ICU nurses gave us daily updates on his condition by phone.
"His condition later deteriorated and he had to be intubated and put on a ventilator."
Jayaseelan died while receiving treatment at the ICU on May 12.
Sivakumar, 38, a former aircraft engineer, said throughout his father's hospitalisation, no family members were allowed to see him, leaving many things unsaid.
"None of us were prepared for what was coming.
"There is still a void in our hearts because we did not get to see him one last time.
"Only my youngest brother was allowed into the mortuary to identify my father's remains while wearing full PPE (personal protective equipment) and standing a metre away from his body."
Recalling his father's final journey to the City Hall crematorium in Jalan Kuari, Sivakumar said his family members and relatives had nothing to identify his father's coffin with except the hearse's registration number.
He said they collected his father's ashes the next day before scattering them in Port Klang.
"My mother who tested positive was kept in isolation while the rest were quarantined at home."
Sivakumar said only after his mother had recovered did they hold eight days of Hindu prayers at their home.
The family of P. Meenu, 30, from Puchong Jaya, also did not have a chance to bid goodbye to their father, K. Pathmanabhan, 65, at the University Malaya Medical Centre last week.
Speaking to the New Straits Times, Meenu said the family was in a quandary as the hospital authorities would not give her father's body to them.
"They told us we could not bring his body back home or have any physical or close contact with his remains and needed to keep him in a contained environment.
"Fortunately, moments before sealing the coffin, a medical officer gave us a few minutes to see him from an adjacent room."
She said a health officer facilitated the process at the hospital in full PPE and made sure the coffin was tightly sealed.
Meenu, the youngest of three children, said no one was allowed to visit him at the hospital.
"On the day he died, the hospital called us to say his pulse rate had slowed and for us to be prepared.
"The nurse allowed me to speak on the phone with him. That was my last conversation with him.
"I told him not to worry, that we were waiting for him to recover and come home soon. He replied in a faint voice."
Meenu, who just learnt she is three months pregnant, and her husband were required to take a Covid-19 test, which came out negative.
Her father was cremated at the Kampung Tunku Crematorium on June 3.