KUALA LUMPUR: For 15 years, a woman felt like she was living in a "cage", constantly monitored by her husband who is suspected of having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Aminah (not her real name), in her 40s, said she and her children had to comply with her husband's every wish and decision.
Their home was even equipped with closed-circuit television (CCTV) cameras so that her husband could monitor their movements.
This was the situation Aminah endured throughout her marriage, causing her and her four children to harbour feelings of suppression because they had no freedom.
Aminah said that early in their relationship, she thought her husband's behaviour was typical of an unmarried man, but she began to realise it was his true nature after a few months of marriage when he became overly controlling.
She said all household items and decisions were under her husband's absolute control without any opportunity for her or the children to voice their opinions.
"We had to obey my husband. If we disagreed, he would scold us and sometimes use unpleasant words if we did not follow what he wanted.
"In addition, my husband also controlled our movements excessively, including who I befriended, especially male coworkers."
Aminah added that her husband also monitored their movements through the CCTV at home, and if anything seemed suspicious, they had to provide a reasonable explanation.
She realised that her husband's behaviour pointed towards someone with NPD and had suggested he see a specialist to confirm his condition, but it would always end in arguments.
She admitted that some saw her husband as a perfect man who accompanied them wherever they went and rarely allowed her to drive unless for other purposes.
"Apart from praying (for my husband's behaviour to change), I tried alternative methods such as using calming aromatherapy oils to create a cheerful mood and playing zikir and Quranic verses in the house for a more serene and peaceful atmosphere," she told Harian Metro.
Meanwhile, Canselor Tuanku Muhriz Hospital (HCTM) psychiatrist Dr Farah Deena Abd Samad said that NPD was when someone feels superior to others, has a constant need for admiration and respect, lacks empathy towards others, and views themselves as the most important person.
"They also exploit others for their own benefit and are often envious of others or believe others are envious of them," she said.
Dr Farah Deena said there was currently no medication to treat NPD. Instead, patients diagnosed with the disorder need to undergo long-term and consistent therapy.
Additionally, individuals living with someone with NPD can also experience emotional and psychological effects such as feeling inadequate, lacking self-confidence, confusion, depression, trauma, and mental and physical exhaustion.
"Awareness about NPD is increasing in society, but it is important to avoid labeling someone as having NPD too quickly.
"What is important is to always recognise our self-worth and never question it because the biggest defence against narcissism is to love ourselves fully. Seek professional help if you face this problem," she said.