EVERY day before we go to work, my husband and I drop our six-month-old son at the babysitter, a few hundred metres away from home. And, like most babysitters who operate from their houses, she isn’t registered.
Tens of thousands of working mothers share our arrangement, sending their babies and children to these women, mostly housewives, who look after babies to supplement their household income.
I depended solely on my instincts when I decided to leave Murshid in Suhaila’s hands.
The gruesome news of a five-month-old baby’s body found in his babysitter’s freezer recently is yet another reminder of the risk working mothers take every day as they drop off their children in the care of another person. After each incident — usually resulting in death or serious injury sustained by a baby — the public calls for all babysitting services to be registered, but, the cacophony dies down over time.
Some babysitters are very good, they tend to the babies’ physical and emotional needs and keep them happy. On the other end of the spectrum, you have incidences resulting in death.
Are we then, mothers who send our children to rumah pengasuh, to be blamed as irresponsible for not thoroughly thinking of the welfare of our children?
We do what we can to balance work and raising children, but, in my short span as a mother, I realise that while the country needs women in the workforce, it gives working mothers utterly dismal support.
Not all office buildings are equipped with daycare centres. Not all offices have lactation rooms, despite the Health Ministry’s recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby’s life.
And let’s not even talk about flexible working hours because, believe it or not, even in this digital age when we are connected to the world all the time, most employers still expect workers to clock in and clock out physically when networks and the Internet can easily connect us to our working space.
WORKING PARENTS
With living costs going up, parents, especially in expensive cities like Kuala Lumpur, have no choice but to work full time, entrusting the welfare of their infants and toddlers to the babysitters. And because daycare centres are not available at all working premises, mothers have to outsource this help, most of the time to unregistered operators who may or may not have the skills to look after babies, or take in more than they can handle.
So you get cases where pillows are propped instead of having a person to hold the milk bottle, raising the risk of choking among infants. Some babysitters look after so many babies of different ages — so you might get toddlers hitting smaller babies because they are not monitored.
Like adults, babies have different personalities too. Some like to sleep during the day, some like to be played with, some cry out of discomfort and they all need tailored attention.
Having many babies with limited manpower cannot ensure their welfare, or their safety.
The lackadaisical attitude of not providing working mothers the support they need but expecting them to raise a generation of Malaysians we can be proud of speaks of our obsession with success without the willingness to invest in what’s important.
If we are going to talk about a new type of nation-building in line with the spirit of #Malaysia-Baharu, then we need to realise our mentality needs to change. If we want a great generation of Malaysians, we must be willing to support mothers — in all ways necessary, to ensure that they can contribute to the country’s economy and still have the energy left to nurture their children holistically.
I think it’s about time office premises with a substantial percentage of mothers had their own childcare services. Premises like hospitals, news organisations and other places where workers work shifts should strive to have a round-the-clock nursery.
Having one does not eliminate the possibility of tragedies,
but with their mothers nearby, and with many people working at the nursery, the likelihood of
a tragedy that befell the five-month-old baby could be lessened.
It’s a win-win situation. Mothers can work in peace knowing that their children are nearby and the safety of their children is looked after.
It is a gargantuan task to have a daycare at every existing office premises, but I think we have to start somewhere, otherwise this will just be another tragedy-triggered issue. There has got to be financial commitment to this, as we cannot put a price tag on life.
The condolences that flooded social media for the little boy described the adorable infant as anak syurga or child of heaven. Babies don’t know much. It is the adults’ responsibility to make sure that these little humans are well taken care of and that their life and welfare is a priority.
Adam Rayqal Mohd Sufi will probably not be the last we are going to hear about a terrible incident at a babysitter. The question is — how long are we going to let this go on and how many babies have to die before society realises that we cannot call ourselves civilised if we cannot even protect our young?
The writer is a mother of one
and is the news editor, health
and fashion, Digital and Features