HOW do you keep yourself going in difficult or tough times? All of us, no matter how accomplished or fortunate we may be, will, at some points in our life face struggles.
Personal problems and work related issues do not discriminate. They happen to all of us, regardless of race, social standing, or financial strength.
Over the years of leading organisations and running businesses, I have had to deal with many challenging situations. And, I've learnt a lot from these episodes. Perhaps the most valuable lessons I have learnt, especially from successful entrepreneurs and even from family members, like my father, is to always take responsibility for my actions.
I speak about this in nearly all my corporate training sessions. Success is getting what you want. But happiness, which is ultimately what everyone covets, comes from being grateful with what you have.
Research shows that gratitude helps people focus on the positive aspects of their life. Gratitude can help build and maintain relationships with others, resulting in hope, life satisfaction, and more proactive behaviors toward others
Isn't this what everyone needs, so that we can actually find some happiness during these tough times!
There is no doubt that when we are undergoing some troubles or navigating traumatic times, there is every reason to be depressed, frustrated, and fearful for what the future has in store. But these feelings of anguish do not really help us while navigating the complexities of life and business.
In the face of these setbacks, some people seem to fall apart, while others find ways to move forward and continue to get things done. And, I have seen that people who have cultivated an attitude of gratitude become much more resilient to hostile conditions.
To be clear, understand that resilience does not mean you do not feel anxiety. Many of us of are champions at feeling disappointment. I have realised that it is normal to lament about any losses, and it is vital to give yourself some time and space to do so. But then, learn to remind yourself that "…what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
I know that this is a clichéd statement, however researchers at New York's University of Buffalo have scientifically studied how, when faced with adversities, a person comes out mentally tougher, and learns to cope much better with forthcoming difficulty.
Researcher, Mark Seery, says that stressful situations act as a catalyst for learning.
Mastering past hurdles, feeling in control, building social support networks, and stimulating cell growth in areas of the brain that relate to coping; are all due to facing current hardship while being resilient enough to learn to leverage on these feelings.
How do you keep your spirits up, in the worst circumstances?
Recognise what you can control and what you cannot. Be clear about this. Resilient people focus on things they can do to move forward rather than dwelling on the ways that conditions have contrived to put them in a predicament.
Pay attention to actions that you can take to make your circumstances better. As you engage in those activities, you will feel better about your work and will also be more productive.
Next, engage with the right folks.
Frequently, when you are stressed, or confused you tend to stay away from people. Do the exact opposite.
There are advantages to social engagement. When you talk about what is making you uneasy, you often find that other people will have similar experiences that they can share.
Remember though, to only connect with the right people at times of adversity. Look for empowering people, and not doomsday naysayers. There are lots of them, too.
In moments of crisis, brand them toxic, and disengage with them. Concentrate on social connections that are motivating, and will help you to focus on tasks that need to be done.
Finally, go out of your way to give a positive interpretation to everything.
When you think negative thoughts about events and other people, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your harmful thoughts influence the interpretation you give to any circumstance. Similarly, when you interpret the events around your life with a positive slant, you are simply more likely to create good interactions.
If you want to come out of any adversity, fill yourself with gratitude, get resilient, and deliberately take action to remain happy! And this is not mindless optimism. Scientific research proves my point.