KUALA LUMPUR: Life has been painful for actress Inessa Irdayanty, 31, ever since she lost her mother, veteran actress Azean Irdawaty eight years ago and her elder brother, actor Benjy Ibrahim in July.
In a recent Instagram video, Inessa tearfully revealed that she suffered from bouts of depression and had "never stopped crying" since Azean left her.
"I'm not strong, I've never been. Anyone close to me would know I cry a lot," said Inessa in her video.
"When Mama passed, everyone said 'stay strong' but I could not. I just do what I need to do even when I have no idea how to do it."
Inessa also said that in a recent interview about Benjy's death, a journalist asked how she was feeling her and she simply did not know what to answer.
"Another questions was, 'how do you find peace in all the challenges you go through all these years?'"
"To be honest, from my prayers, and that's all I know how to do, for that gives me faith that things will work out," explained Inessa.
She also counted her blessings and has received hundreds of messages of support from social media friends.
One anonymous person described Inessa as her "silent hero" because reading the actress' story inspired her to continue living.
"She has been going through a similar situation and was on the brink of giving up."
It took Inessa a year and a half to slowly heal after losing her mother.
"What's amazing is that I didn't know I was depressed until years later when I attended a talk on mental health and ticked every single symptom that the speaker listed for depression."
Inessa said that focusing on her work took her mind away from the sadness of losing Azean and Benjy.
Azean died of cancer at the age of 63 on Dec 17, 2013, while Benjy, 42, died of asthma on July 11.
Inessa is the youngest of Azean's three children. She also has an elder sister, 34-year-old actress Elza Irdalynna.