IT'S a sweltering afternoon in leafy Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur. The bright sun appears to hang like a silent sentinel high in the sky, casting an unrelenting warmth over the streets. The tranquillity is punctuated by the raucous squawking of crows flitting from tree to tree, their raucous chatter mingling with the hum of peak-time traffic along the bustling Lucky Gardens.
Making my way to a delightful Italian restaurant nestled in the corner of a lively row of shop lots, I find myself reflecting on the warm energy enveloping me. It really does feel like a perfect prelude to my meeting with the effervescent Tan Chin Kiat, the man who'd impressed me so much when I first encountered him two years ago.
Back then, his compelling email had drawn me from the cool comfort of my office to a sun-drenched pedestrian walkway in a busy Klang Valley mall. His words, almost urgent in their tone and filled with a heartfelt aspiration to encourage the elderly to embrace life without regrets, had piqued my curiosity; a feeling that still resonates today.
Ascending the restaurant's staircase silently, I eventually find myself in the middle of a classy first floor haven, the heady aroma of food permeating the air. Scanning my surrounds, I eventually spot him, seated in a cosy corner, his beam as bright as the sun outside.
"Thank you so much for coming! Come, come, sit down!" Tan exclaims, eyes sparkling with warmth behind his glasses as he gestures for me to sit across from him. "Let's order first, shall we?" he adds with a contagious enthusiasm the moment I sit down. A waiter soon materialises by his side, pen poised and ready, eager to take our orders.
FIGHTING SPIRIT
At 64, the Klang-born Tan really does embody a spirit that challenges stereotypes surrounding ageing. His journey has not been without struggles, yet he navigates life's ups and downs with a refreshing perspective.
Reaching for my notebook, I'm reminded of our first meeting at The Curve in Petaling Jaya. Even then, his ambition was clear: to inspire seniors to embrace life with open arms, regardless of age. Today, he once again reiterates that sentiment with a calm assurance.
The father-of-two's own backstory is both poignant and relatable. The middle child among eight siblings, Tan grew up in a modest home, where his father worked as a timber supervisor and his mother dedicated herself to family life.
"We came from a very poor family," I recall him telling me. "My mother was not highly educated, but she instilled in us values that have shaped who we are — those of humility and responsibility, in particular," he continues softly.
I remember it was hard not to be swept by Tan's energy as he recounted pivotal moments from his past. After starting his career as a credit loan officer at Arab Malaysian Finance Bhd and thereafter, as regional manager, from 1985 to 1996, he faced a major setback in 1997 during the Asian financial crisis, which eventually cost him his job and home.
Yet, in the face of adversity, he found a new path. "My wife was working as a lawyer then, and she became the one to hold the family together, along with my mother-in-law," he shares fondly. At the time, he had two young daughters and no money. It was his mother-in-law and eldest sister who gave him the money to buy a house.
Fortunately, between 2003 and 2009, Tan found a job as the general manager at Malaysian Building Society Bhd, before moving on to Port Klang Free Zone Sdn Bhd in 2009. There, he assumed the role of assistant general manager until 2020, when thanks to the Movement Control Order (MCO), he was forced to retire at the age of 59.
But just as he was slowly trying to find his footing again, life threw him another curveball: He was diagnosed with colon cancer.
VALUABLE LESSONS
"It was back in 2018 when I was told that I had colon cancer. I underwent surgery and thankfully that went well. And just when I thought there'd be no more surprises… I was diagnosed with bile duct cancer in January," shares Tan, returning our conversation to his current status.
He was advised to undergo chemotherapy. "The doctor advised me to go for this but I hesitated, thinking of the possible side effects," confides Tan, before exclaiming: "I remember thinking, 'Aiyooo, I'm already 64. If God wants to take me home, I go la!' But my family was adamant that I should go for chemotherapy when efforts with traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) also didn't work."
Continuing, he shares: "My jaundice returned, and I got scared. In the end, I relented. I've actually been on chemo since last month. Yesterday was my fourth session."
When I tell him that he looks well, Tan beams and replies: "This is the thing that I want to show many retirees. I look around at my retired friends and most of them have health issues. But we should not let sickness overtake our life. Retirement is not the end of everything. It's a new beginning. We need to keep ourselves active and relevant."
Tan recalls the first time he stumbled upon Mitch Albom's 2003 novel, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, which follows the life and death of a ride mechanic called Eddie, who was killed in an amusement park accident and sent to heaven, where he encountered five people who had a significant impact on him when he was alive.
"In our life, there will be people who touch us during our journey. For me, the list comprises all women: my dear mother, my wife of 30 years, my mother-in-law, my elder sister and even you," he says, gesturing at me with a smile. His voice softens as he reflects on the impact some of these figures have had on his life. "In their own respective ways, their monumental love and support have impacted my life in ways they may not even realise."
Life, adds Tan, has taught him many valuable lessons, especially as he faces health challenges. "My cancer isn't a death sentence. Science has advanced so much," he asserts, gaze defiant, before emphasising on the importance of managing stress and taking charge of one's own life.
"I may be retired, but I don't see it as the end of everything," states Tan matter-of-factly, adding: "Now I have freedom. I can pick and choose what kind of work I want to do or what activities I want to pursue. The rat race is over for me. At the end of the day, it's all about controlling what you can manage."
OPPORTUNITIES AND POTENTIALS
His daily routine these days, as I duly discover, paints a picture of discipline and self-care. "I walk for an hour every morning and every evening. After my morning walk, I take some time to pray before having my healthy breakfast of oats with fruits. Then I go to work." His schedule may have shifted, but his dedication to staying active and engaged is unwavering.
Retirement is an opportunity to explore new avenues, believes Tan. Currently, he serves as an operations adviser for a biodiesel plant and a logistics company. "I keep in touch with friends and stay involved," he explains, adding: "You shouldn't panic after retirement. You have to stay relevant, ensure people know that you're still around and are able to contribute your expertise in one way or another. Don't just make it all about the money."
As he continues, now steering the conversation towards his family, a warmth envelops him. "What makes me the happiest today is family and that sense of togetherness. Tomorrow, I'm visiting my parents in Klang. My father is 88 and my mother is 84. They're still doing well."
In a world where many view ageing as a decline, Tan's outlook is a refreshing change. "There are seniors now who are seizing life, having second chances. They're making themselves relevant," he says with palpable enthusiasm.
He goes on to tell me that he believes in the power of community and encourages others to foster relationships. "We should be thankful to those who helped us along our journey. We're here because of the people in our lives – whether in a good way or bad," he adds softly.
EMBRACING LIFE
As our conversation flows, Tan delves deeper into the lessons he learned over the years. "If there's a bit take-away from my journey so far, it has to be the importance of humility and integrity," he says thoughtfully.
Expression earnest, he muses: "We're just human, and sometimes it's easy to succumb to temptations. It's a human weakness, no? Who doesn't want to be rich fast? But at the end of the day, it's better to have a clear conscience. If it's not yours, don't touch it because you don't know what's going to happen next. Live life without regrets."
With our conversation drawing to a close, I ask the doting father whether he dispenses advice to his daughters. He smiles before replying: "It's mostly my wife who guides them. She's the one they turn to. I like to encourage them to spread their wings and not just be content with status quo as they're still young. Life should be about exploration at this juncture, and at any juncture, really."
Suffice to say, Tan's story is a gentle reminder that "doing life" doesn't necessarily have stop once we retire or are approaching our golden years. Each new day offers a new opportunity to embrace and explore what life has to offer, regardless of the challenges that come a-tumbling.
As I slowly gather my belongings in preparation to part ways, Tan surprises me with a box that he deftly produces from beneath the table. "Just a little something for you," he says shyly, eyes sparkling happily. Always so generous, I exclaim delightedly, noting with pleasure my favourite chocolates.
And that just sums up this kindly gentleman really. Ever thoughtful, ever generous.
In a world that often places so many limitations on the elderly, Tan's life serves as an inspiring narrative, proving that age is just a number and that the pursuit of joy and purpose can continue well into the golden years.
"Just let go and keep moving forward," he advises solemnly as we bid our goodbyes with the warmth of old friends. And with those words lingering in my mind, I walk away into the bright sunlight, a little skip in my steps, feeling inspired and uplifted, grateful for the reminder that every moment counts — no matter how old we may be.