WE were having dinner when a family walked into the restaurant with a 2-year-old, who was throwing a tantrum. The father gave her a smartphone and she was immediately engrossed in a YouTube video, which she put on herself.
“Look at the children these days. They can’t live without an iPhone”, my husband commented.
That comment hit me hard as I am in a similar situation. I realised that it is not my children who can’t live without a smartphone or other gadgets, it is me.
Technology is my saviour when I need to handle my children’s tantrums. Just like the scenario in the restaurant, they will calm down as soon as there are smartphones or tablets in their hands. In my case, these situations only take place at home as I don’t bring the gadgets when we go out. But I still feel guilty.
For the past couple of years, I have observed the number of children with gadgets is increasing. What’s more disturbing is that they are not playing interactive games or watching educational programmes, they are watching videos (either movie trailers, music videos or even toy reviews).
I wonder if parents are aware of the negative impact of heavy exposure to digital screen. Some of the negative behaviours I have seen when the parents take away their phone or tablet include the children getting upset and throwing a tantrum as they cannot live without them. A recent study by Dr Peter Whybrow at University of California, Los Angeles, found that iPads and smartphones are as destructive to the brain as cocaine, making the users addicted to them.
We may think that it is impossible to eliminate smartphones from the children’s lives since they were born in a digital era. We may think that a 3-year old who owns a gadget is normal but if it leads to addiction, it will lead to more serious problems.
A few days ago, I was in the car with two of my children (I have three).
We were waiting for my sister who was buying a burger.
After two minutes, my eldest child became bored and wanted to play with my phone. When I said no, she began to whine.
I was worried that I might give in so I started to think of something to do. Since it was raining, the windows were a bit foggy so I started to write her name and her siblings’. She was excited and soon both of them were writing on the windows.
When my sister said that it was easy to make children happy, I realised that she was right. But parents make it difficult.
In order to get them off gadgets, parents need to show by example. As parents, we cannot be victims of technology too. Put the gadgets away when we are with our children.
Do not get engrossed in our smartphones, sending or reading messages on WhatsApp, Facebook or other social media. Our children will feel neglected and they will turn to their gadgets.
We need to pay attention to them, have a conversation or even play with them. After all they are children, who are still in need of a lot of assistance and attention from their parents.
Our children do not need expensive toys. I understand that parents tend to buy gifts for their children to make up for the fact they can’t be with them most of the time. What they need is our love and if that is too abstract to give or share, give them our attention.
Dr Astri Yulia is a lecturer at the Faculty of Education and Social Science, Universiti Selangor (Unisel), Shah Alam