IN today’s society, many of us lack etiquette and manners. Most people, young or old, have forgotten that being polite and mannerly means considering how others are feeling.
Sadly, everyone is subconsciously out for only themselves with no concern of the effect their behaviour has on others. Simply put, the vast majority of us are selfish and do things just to benefit ourselves. We are surrounded by rude youths who don’t have any respect for anyone. Without its own code of manners, any society would collapse.
In today’s fast-paced, technology-driven society, conscientious efforts must be made by families, schools, mosques, churches and communities to help youths develop core moral values such as respect, responsibility, truthfulness, fairness, integrity, kindness, self-control and thoughtfulness.
Children aren’t born with a built-in sense of respect for others. They must be taught the virtue of respect and importance of kindness to others. If your children don’t learn to have respect for you, they’ll struggle to be on their best behaviour. Correct them when they forget to be mannerly.
For example, if your child forgets to say “please”, tell him about it. Step in when things get hairy. Encourage “hellos” and “goodbyes”. Children learn manners from the example set by parents. Children must be taught age-appropriate manners and etiquette.
Studies have shown that gadget-hooked children are careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around them. Parents must set gadget screen-time limit for their children. Most children today have less contact with the natural world. They are irresponsible and unkind. We must help them acquire a sense of kindness.
Saying “please” and “thank you” is a social courtesy that should be imbibed from a young age. The social graciousness of these two terms goes a long way.
Part of respect is an admission of guilt, explanation and regret when we make mistakes. Whether old or young, we should all learn to apologise for missteps and take responsibility for our actions.
Saying sorry genuinely is a great virtue. I always regret the error of keeping a Grabcar driver waiting for few seconds and I will always apologise for the delay. My children must say “thank you” after leaving the car.
We must inculcate the value of gratitude even if you pay for the service. “If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily,” says Gerald Good.
Hold the door for the next person no matter how great your perceived status. Yes, the next person has arms, but treating others with respect can boost their happiness and self-worth. Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.
We live in an “acceleration” society. We are all so busy. Everyone is running his own race. As a society, we have lost the art of using the words “excuse me” when interrupting someone, trying to get someone’s attention or when bumping into someone. Saying “excuse me” moves people back into social equilibrium.
You’re not being rude
when sneezing if it’s done in an appropriate way, but sneezing too loudly is offensive.
Gentleness breeds peace, so be gentle and compassionate. Treat weak people as though they may actually break. Be respectful, kind, show consideration, have regard for people and behave in a way that shows you care for others.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see (Mark Twain).
Dr Maryam Abimbola Mikail, Department of Biomedical Science, Faculty of Science, Lincoln University College