KUALA LUMPUR: Hawa Osman experienced several miscarriages before she gave birth to Zulfarhan Osman Zulkarnain.
The 61-year-old mother of the late navy cadet said it was a very happy moment and that was why she and her husband named their son Farhan, which means 'joy'.
As she tearfully shared her story with Harian Metro, Hawa said it was too painful to know about her son's suffering before he died.
Zulfarhan or better known as Along was 21 when he died of severe abuse at the hands of fellow cadets at the National Defence University (UPNM) seven years ago. He was Hawa's eldest child.
"I gave birth to Along in perfect condition, but he died in a heartbreaking manner.
"Before I had him, I experienced two miscarriages and because of that, I took extra care when I was confirmed pregnant with him.
"I still remember when my son was born on Nov 29, 1996 and was named Farhan, which means joy. I also included Zul in front of his name after his father's name, Zulkarnain.
"At the same time, the name Osman was given to honour the memory of my late father, who was remembered as a pleasant person," she said in an interview with Harian Metro.
Hawa added that the family initially did not allow Zulfarhan to continue his studies at the National Defence University (UPNM).
"If possible, I would prefer my children not to join the military because of my late brother's experience of having difficulty getting leave.
"However, he told me his wishes of joining UPNM after completing his diploma at Universiti Tun Hussein Onn Malaysia," she said.
She added that she also told Zulfarhan that she did not fully support the decision to go to UPNM, but her late son was determined to join the university as he had failed to enter the Royal Military College during secondary school.
"I did not talk to him for almost three days over his decision until I gave in to his wish.
"I also took him for medical checkups and registered him at the university, and when I left him there, he was in a good and happy state."
Asked whether she regretted giving her blessing for Zulfarhan to continue his studies at UPNM, Hawa said she accepted the situation as it was the fate written for her son.
"No (I do not regret it), because for me, my children will decide for themselves whatever they are interested in.
"I accept Allah's will and it was the time for my child (to go), hence, I accept it," she said.
On July 23, the Court of Appeal sentenced six former UPNM cadets to death for Zulfarhan's murder seven years ago.
The court had described the case as the "rarest of the rare" when it unanimously allowed the prosecution's appeal to reinstate a charge under Section 302 of the Penal Code for murder and impose the death penalty.
Zulfarhan had been found with 90 burn marks due to a hot steam iron and bruises and died on June 1, 2017.