THE first day of school got off to a running start for a Primary 1 student in Pahang, yesterday – the problem was, he was running in the opposite direction.
Suffering first-day jitters of operatic proportions, the 7-year-old slipped past his teachers at a school in Jengka 4, Maran, then hotfooted it down the main road towards home like his clothes were on fire.
While on the lam, the fugitive scholar was captured on video by the school's security guard – and the 1-minute-and-14-second footage of the Great Escape has since sprinted towards virality on social media.
Not cut out for chasing after skedaddling minors, the 'Pakcik' guard can be heard in the clip lumbering after the boy – who is a good 80 to 100 metres ahead of him – breathing in a manner suggesting a need for immediate medical intervention.
But the wilting Pakcik's entreaties further traumatise the tyke, who shifts into warp speed. A continent-wide chasm forms.
Suddenly, MOTHER zooms into view, hurtling forth on her cruise missile-like kapcai, target locked. Reaching her errant offspring within seconds, she seems to lack only a lasso.
It's game over for Usain Bolt, who stops dead in his tracks, and wails to the heavens.
But the expected public execution does not occur.
MOTHER, face mask askew, instead gently lifts her errant son onto the motorcycle, setting her coordinates for home – where, we suspect, the boy will still sit for lessons… of the bum-stinging kind.
At least you tried, kid.